You Learn, You Grow

You can look back and laugh, but at the time I was self harming...

It was hot, very hot. I was off to Guildford to meet a girl who I had got talking to at a bar on a previous night out. It's two and a half miles to the nearest station, I couldn't drive as I was going to be drinking, my parents were out and I didn't want to ask a friend as I would have had to explain that I was going on a date.

My friends rip the piss mercilessly out of each other, which is fine I like banter as much as the next guy, but I didn't want to give them any fresh material and as you may have gathered, not all my dates go that well. So I walked the two and a half miles on what was an unusually hot Summers day only to find that the trains were cancelled and a bus replacement service was in place. The Sun came streaming in through the Bus window and without air conditioning it was a pretty horrible journey.

Never mind though, I was on course to Guildford and would soon be drinking tall cocktails with a potential new lady friend.

So we meet and were going dutch on rounds. I offer to buy but she insists on paying her way which is cool - shows she's not after my money, which is good as I don't have any. Conversation is a bit stale, but hey we have only just met and these things can take time. I get the feeling I'm not the bad ass boyfriend she's after but it's too early to be making these kind of judgement calls.

I go to the toilet for a numero uno and on my return find that she is on the phone to her friend. Disaster, one of her best friends is distraught as she has literally 'just split up with her long term boyfriend'. I try to pretend that I care and she hints that in this time of need, she has to be with her friend to provide moral support.

I assume she is lying, but you can't be sure, so what can you do? I either say, 'Liar pants on fire and don't think your getting out of this date so quickly', or say 'of course, I completely understand'. After much soul searching I choose the latter and we part.

I then get the bus replacement service back to the nearest station and start the two and a half mile walk. At this point I make the executive decision to send her a text, something nice and simple that shows what a great guy I am. It read something along the lines of, 'hope your friends ok, sorry we had to cut the date off early and maybe we can meet up again some time'.

Unfortunately I accidentally sent this text to a good friend of mine. He quickly deduces that I had been on a date and that she had made some excuse to effectively run away. Within seconds, he had forwarded this text to all my other friends.

On my long walk home I am kept company from numerous texts from well wishers, such as 'Nice date Cornford!'.

To put this in perspective, accumulative transport time equals approximately three hours, actual duration of date one hour. In case your wondering, I never did hear back from her, maybe the text didn't deliver...